...a flying saucer just landed outside my house. I heard this weird noise and then something bumped into the porch and I squealed. I got up to look out the window and there is this THING there against the steps all lit up in red lights. It's small and probably remote controlled, which means a human is attached to it somewhere out of sight, so no way in hell am I going out there to check. That seems like a nice way to lure someone out of their house (lolparanoid). But I am not kidding. There is an alien spacecraft replica outside. It landed at my doorstep. It has flashy lights.
Why me, you guys? Seriously. What in the freaking hell?!
...I am going to go look and see if it's gone. If I see a face out there I might shit my pants. Wish me no monsters!
So. It's gone now. I didn't hear anyone come up the drive, and it's gravel so if a person came to retrieve it they had to walk on the grass. Which means they were trying to be sneaky. WHICH I AM SORRY, BUT I DO NOT LIKE!!
I don't even know. I swear to shit I'm not crazy though. I'm really not. Well. Not about this. I wouldn't put it past one of the KAOS people to have come to show us their new toy, but I still find it unsettling. I checked all the locks. YOU SHALL NOT PASS, SAUCER OWNER!
EDIT: I just looked at my 'this shit actually happens' tag (which is amazing reading, by the way because even I forget the weird crap that happens to me but...yeah) and I found the entry where I ran into the Cardinal Archbishop of Westminster, literally, and then acted like a dick. It's here and it makes me laugh still!