Künstliches Mädchen | ☘Lara Kelley Gallagher☘ (artemisofluna) wrote,
Künstliches Mädchen | ☘Lara Kelley Gallagher☘

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I don't think it's fair that I am having major allergy issues/a cold while I am trying to fix my anxiety issues but oh well.

Since the quake I have been having panic attacks. Full blown, throat tightening, chest squeezing, hyperventilating, "oh god oh god, I am dying right very now" panic attacks. I have always have anxiety issues and anyone who knows me or reads this and even some people who meet me on the street will know that because I don't hide it, or do I think I should have to. But increased adrenaline (thanks earthquake) makes brain chemistry go haywire and so my anxiety levels have risen to unmanageable levels. I was awake all night last night because I was sure my throat would spontaneously close on itself for no reason at all. I know it won't, because that is ridiculous. I know that. But I decided it would anyway and so I was on the verge of a panic attack the entire night. Thus is and anxiety disorder, though I have never had it get this bad before.

Today I saw a doctor who was lovely, and she prescribed me a short-term pill for the panicky stuff, and a long-term one to try to fix things. I never take meds so they tend to knock me around, so getting used to them should be such fun. But mostly I just want it to stop, so I'll put up with anything. And then I get to go to counselling on Monday. Here's hoping I feel well enough.
Tags: :(, and celebrate the irony, anxiety isn't awesome, disease, issues, let's all dance to joy division, my brain chemistry is like a picasso, plate tectonics to the left, shit man, shut up all of you i'm dying!, stupid body

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