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09 February 2011 @ 01:35 pm
 
This made me cry.

What I Know About Women: Tim Minchin

I’m A ladies’ man, no question. Not in the Russell Brand kind of way, quite the contrary in fact. But I love women; always have.

I like warm, laughing, open women because they hug me and I like that because their skin is soft and they have boobs. I like cold, aloof women who are hard to impress because it’s so satisfying when they smile, eventually. I like little petite women because unlike little petite men, they tend to be totally happy in their littleness.

I like big curvy women because, well, because they’re curvy and big and for some reason such geometry seems correlated (dare I say) with ease of laughter and sharpness of wit.

I like really old women because they were nurses in wars and you think they are all pruney and conservative but then they call someone a f***ing idiot for changing lanes without indicating. I like female lawyers because they wear suits and know how to argue. Nice.

I like women who dress up in heels and illogically short dresses and lots of make-up, because why not? I like women who refuse to wear make-up and refuse to shave their legs and only ever wear jeans. There were a lot more of them in the 90s. Where did they go? They’re probably the lawyers in suits now.

I like women who want to be looked after and I like women who want to look after you. I like straight women and gay women. I like bi-curious women.

Everyone does.

I think I quite fancy Japanese women, but that’s ridiculous because there are loads of them and so statistically some of them would be really annoying and have no sense of humour.

I don’t find women mysterious the way blokes always claim to. Or rather, I find them mysterious, but sort of figure-outable.

I think I like women because I grew up surrounded by the bloody things: a mother who told it as she saw it, who laughed at funny stuff and fought annoying stuff and freaked out at scary stuff; smart, funny sisters who looked up to me and hounded me and laughed and laughed and laughed; cousins who played music and wore bikinis and looked beautiful in ball dresses; grandmothers who danced comically and taught me tapestry; aunts with critical eyes and sparkling eyes and folk bands; a godmother with envelopes of $20 bills and buckets of silliness.

And then the girlfriends, of which I’ve only had two. Number one was my first love, my uni-crush, my virginity-taker, my KFC-and-videos-when-we-should-be-at-lectures. We were together for three years and then she broke my heart. Temporarily, it transpired.

The second was an injured dancer turned lawyer – who taught me to love jazz and women in suits; the one who taught me there might be love beyond first love.

The third was the first one again, who proved – in the end – that for me there was to be no getting over the first love. At the end of next year, we will have been together half our lives – pretty rare for 33-year-olds these days.

Maybe more than anything else, I probably love women because they’ve always been nice to me. Which is nice of them.

Now I’ve got a new woman. She wakes me at night and I go into her room grumpy and tired but glad for the opportunity to see her. She’s a mystery to me, but I’ll figure her out
 
 
Current Mood: dorkydorky
 
 
 
(Deleted comment)
Künstliches Mädchen | ☘Lara Kelley Gallagher☘: FS~Patrick and a bearartemisofluna on February 9th, 2011 01:30 am (UTC)
I think my heart is made of babies. Which is ironic because I don't particularly like babies, as they look like aliens.

...basically, I cry at everything. But YES, so gorgeous! Which is why I love him :D Especially when he talks about his wife and kids!
Moon Ladymoonanstars on February 9th, 2011 01:30 pm (UTC)
aw that's beautiful!
Künstliches Mädchen | ☘Lara Kelley Gallagher☘: Boosh~No Smoking Mike Fieldingartemisofluna on February 9th, 2011 10:03 pm (UTC)
It is, isn't it?! I love that he can write quite scathing songs and then things like this that are just beautiful.
Arklanarklan on February 9th, 2011 07:04 pm (UTC)
oh, i like that.
Künstliches Mädchen | ☘Lara Kelley Gallagher☘: DILLINGER OKAYartemisofluna on February 9th, 2011 10:04 pm (UTC)
I am quite fond as well! Though obviously I pretty much love everything he does.