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21 September 2010 @ 07:16 pm
It's interesting being surrounded by social workers who are going through trauma along with everyone else in Christchurch. Some of the people in my course are absolutely torn apart over the earthquake and I'm realising I am not as okay with it as I thought when EVERY loud noise in the building makes me nearly dive under the desk. When I got home I have earthquake dreams because I couldn't sleep last night and now all I can dream are shakeyshakeshakes. Arrggghhhhhnotcool. And it doesn't help that then we have a lecture on mental health services and the teacher (lovely lady, honestly!) is talking about how some people feel unwell or whatever and I'm like ...god I feel pretty fucking unwell sometimes! Like now, not wanting to leave my home because aftershocks could happen at any time and what if shit falls on me and lalala headfuck.

BUT. Surrounded by social workers in training IS good. I send a text message to one of them and I get a reply in seconds that makes me feel better. Pretty awesome.

I am so tired. So unable to sleep. I should try to remember, when I think I can get to sleep without sleeping pills, that I AM MESSED UP and my brain doesn't just shut off. I can function and sometimes my ability to function surprises me, but that doesn't mean I'm a-okay. Lara, learn your limits. Take the damn pills. You'll feel better the next day.

(Also sometimes RP scenes give me flashbacks, but I have no one to blame but myself, because I did read the warning thing and read it anyway! Once again, I need to learn to listen to ME...)
Current Mood: blahblah
Circe: BSG: Emo Stations!_honeyspider on September 21st, 2010 07:22 am (UTC)

Listen to Lara, yes. She's nice and I like her.
Circe: FS: Can I find solid ground?_honeyspider on September 21st, 2010 07:22 am (UTC)
... sometimes the random icon chooser is just bitchy. I swear this thing is sentient.

Edited at 2010-09-21 07:22 am (UTC)
Künstliches Mädchen | ☘Lara Kelley Gallagher☘: Photography~Raining Heartsartemisofluna on September 21st, 2010 07:30 am (UTC)
AHAHHAHAHHAHA OMFG that was awesome :D
Raen: TEAphfa on September 21st, 2010 11:25 am (UTC)
Oops, I just shriek/laughed really loudly at the emo-stations and forgot you were sleeping D: SLEEP WELL DARLING I LOVE YOU!

I have been having trouble getting my brain to shut off too, (as witnessed last week...) and get nervous whenever I'm out under something heavy, like, anything. And hyper aware of every distant rumble and every shake in the floor. We'll all be a messed up city for a while.

But we'll do what we can. I heart you, I'm sorry you're not doing so well. Let me know if there's anything I can do. You are lovely and clever and strong and somuchlove!

Oh and I'll do dinner (korma if I remember to get coconut milk, roasty chicken bits if I don't - I got lots of chicken) tomorrow night. Telling you now cos we haven't made a week-plan yet and I didn't want you to stress about it :)
Circe: Carnivale: In this fall from grace_honeyspider on September 21st, 2010 01:58 pm (UTC)
You're such a good flatmate ♥

(And, you know, an alright Alison in general... I suppose.)
possibly Clare: elf:*hugs*sancta_terra on September 21st, 2010 07:56 am (UTC)
:( feel better :(
Künstliches Mädchen | ☘Lara Kelley Gallagher☘: I lose my wingsartemisofluna on September 21st, 2010 08:30 am (UTC)
:) Thank you! :)
Lauren Christensenpretty_kozi on September 21st, 2010 08:03 am (UTC)
Hugs tight.
Künstliches Mädchen | ☘Lara Kelley Gallagher☘: Tudors~Charles Brandonartemisofluna on September 21st, 2010 08:30 am (UTC)
*hugs back* :)
Lewis: Alissa shadowsarmageddonriver on September 21st, 2010 11:44 am (UTC)
Argh... I can only imagine how nerve-wracking that must be :( But I'm glad you're surrounded by people who are good at taking care of others. I'm sure you're doing your fair share of helping, too.

I hope you get some decent sleep soon!
♟ a king has his reign and then he dies: Euphie ღ I can't help this longingshatters on September 21st, 2010 02:54 pm (UTC)

I get jittery about triggering things, so whenever someone puts a warning I'm like ;______; ilu for that forever. OOT.

Feel better and rest, okay! ♥ Recharge batteries \o\
hysteria74hysteria74 on September 21st, 2010 06:22 pm (UTC)
awww hunny. You take care ok? Don't stress. Do something that makes you feel relaxed, even if it watching copious amounts of your favourtie tv show. It's ok to be scared, you've gone through a really harrowing experience, so give yourself time to grieve for that. Just don't let it become an albatross around your neck. You've got through worse. Remember "This too shall pass"