Anyway, apparently last week Joanne asked for a coke and he asked, in his loud and jolly voice, "DO YOU WANT A BIG COCK OR A SMALL COCK?!" because apparently in his accent Coke=cock. Now I wasn't there last week, and I had never experienced this because I drink Pepsi.
Me: "I'd like a Pepsi Max, please."
He wandered away to search the fridge and he came back. "No Pepsi. 'sall gone! You want a cock!? 'snice cock! You know you want a cock!"
Me: ".... nothanks"
Turns out there was Pepsi Max anyway, he was just looking in the wrong fridge. Still, the entire cafe heard this and died laughing. Me? I just died.
EDIT: And a student just sent in an email that said
sorry for my stupid."