Künstliches Mädchen | ☘Lara Kelley Gallagher☘ (artemisofluna) wrote,
Künstliches Mädchen | ☘Lara Kelley Gallagher☘
artemisofluna

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OMFG. Best badfic! quote EVER. It's from a trollfic I assume was written about Ron/Giant Squid of Harry Pooter (EDIT: AHHAHHAA THAT WAS A TYPO but I am leaving it...) fame, but I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING!!

Of course, as it would be revealed in eight years’ time, the unexplained deaths and mating habits that followed Ron everywhere he went from that time onwards, the spontaneous vomiting that unrelentingly followed a proffered bottle of butterbeer, not to mention the steady decline of his grades all pointed towards the dire incompetence of what had once been Professor McGonagall but had since become a hybrid monster: one part enigma, two parts homo-erotica and three parts former Lord of Hogwarts Lake, the giant squid (presumed deceased) stuffed into a Professor McGonagall suit.
By the time the authorities arrived the creature was already gone. All that remained in its office was a note:
Yes, it is true. I may be a sordid amalgamation of squid, homo-erotic lust and enigma, but I can see in the dark. (And live in freezing temperatures). You will not find me, you are too late. Your screams will echo into eternity as the shadows feast on your soul.
So begins my reign of terror. Find me in the future, I’ll be out hunting with the oh cursed child strapped to my thigh. Together we will destroy civilisation.
P.S. This note was written with ink from my secret place.


I MAKES NO SENSE, but honestly, that last line?! Pure idiotic brilliance.

Thank you, Dear babb_chronicles
Tags: badfic
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