July 13th, 2011

Photography~Love Will Tear Us Apart

(no subject)

Semester 2 has started and already I have had a class cancelled because the university just didn't figure out the class venue in time. I can't deal well with this. I miss the Social Work building. It was a safe and familiar place. Being in a different room every time and not knowing where classes are or when until an hour before is nerve-wracking and I am a person who likes constancy and normalcy. I have anxiety disorders. These things are important.

It might just be that I am still sick and overly tired, but I don't want to go back at all. And it's not that I don't love what I am studying, because I do (except for policy omfg). I still want to be a social worker and I still want my degree, but I am starting to think this year might be a wash. I can't concentrate on anything, and I already put off my first placement. Now apparently I should have heard about my second placement by now but I haven't so I had to email them to remind them I got permission to do the second placement without the first, given by the program coordinator who said he wasn't worried about me because dammit, I'm awesome. I don't know what do to. It's all...*sigh* I need my student loan, which is the only reason I stayed enrolled at all. If I can't concentrate enough to study, and yet I can't really drop out, what the ever livin' fuck can I do, eh?

Part of me wants to quit and go study the rest of my degree in Ireland or something. But I love the people here. Hrrnnnggghhhh. And I did love the city, but it's gone now.

Fuck it all. Fuck this earthquake. Fuck fuckity fuck fuck motherfucking fuck fuck fuck. Can it be December now so I can go see my mommy?
Dylan Princess Strawberry CocoButterLove, Black Books Dylan Poses

(no subject)

I will be 30 on Friday! I keep forgetting it's happening because I'm so tired and generally blah. But it will be lovely. There will be a fry up and probably pie since I like it more than cake. Or both. And then later in the weekend, there will be a Laura too.

Tonight there is chicken strips and lots of veggies. Also pineapple. My body is like "frruuuiiittt?!?!?!" so I am letting it have some.

I still feel torn on the whole topic of study. So I guess we'll see how it goes.