March 5th, 2011

Dylan Princess Strawberry CocoButterLove, Black Books Dylan Poses

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Large aftershock just knocked out the power. It was only out for like...five minutes, but that was five minutes of me panicking that it was starting all over again. And it seemed to last a lot longer. I checked the water and that was fine (thank Christ, I really didn't do well without the water), and then my fan came back on and I felt this ridiculous sense of relief.

I don't like this. This doomsday feeling that my life is on pause. Though I read that the area where my placement is might be opening back up, since it's in the inner city cordon now, but they're decreasing the cordon tomorrow. And I think they mentioned the area where my placement is. That's good because it means I might be able to go back to placement. But it's bad because it means I might be able to go back to placement and I don't know if I'm ready. On my first day all Hell broke loose. Kind of literally. Though I will probably feel this way until it happens, so maybe the sooner the better. I have to tell you, this is making my 'spend a few years in the UK after graduating and then come back to NZ' plan look all kinds of nice, even though I don't want to leave my people :(

When I do go back, I will be terrified the entire time, and it is no longer because I feel I will do a bad job. I am so beyond that now. It's because I don't want the world to fall in on me.

In other news though, I'm about to go have a sandwich. And that's a tick in the 'Good Things' column! And my head is feeling a little clearer. Maybe I can write something today that isn't historical fiction. This would please me greatly.

Also, my cat is an agent of chaos. Just so you know.