October 19th, 2009

Dylan Princess Strawberry CocoButterLove, Black Books Dylan Poses

Behold how I am somewhat offensive!

HAhahahahahahhahaa! You know, if dispatching Pennwise was done this way, It would have been a very different book! Instead of the ritual of Chud (minus one umlauty thing) they just lure him on front of a television set and blast Beyonce at him. GO, PENNYWISE GO...AHHAHAHAHHAAHAH WE GOT YOU NOW!

It would have been much shorter and somewhat less enjoyable, but very a-a-a-amusing.

Ah, Stephen King in-jokes. ILY Mr King. Marry me.

He thrusts his fists against the posts and still insists he sees the ghosts. That's a bit different than Single Ladies!

And, completely off-topic, at work when I am on break I put my Sirius Black action figure up so my team leader knows. Except today I forgot and my boss said, "You're on break where's your little troll?!" And I was like "IT'S SIRIUS BLACK OMG!" And she thought that was hilarious... He needed to have his honour defended!

Dylan Princess Strawberry CocoButterLove, Black Books Dylan Poses

This isn't a really REAL rant...hi, my name is Lara and I write Urban FANTASY

Today on Facebook, someone who shall remain nameless pointed out that my fiction is strange to them. She was complimenting it, but said the 'Antichrist stuff seems a little weird'.

Thank you. Thank you for pointing out the obvious and yet still completely missing the point.

It's supposed to be absurd!

My Peter Kemp is a complete dork. Heroic in an unheroic way, yes. Amazingly gifted at saving people from themselves? Yes. Incredibly intelligent and resourceful, yes. The Antichrist? No. He is a man who knows about eleven languages and spends most of his time reading ancient tomes. He first kissed a girl when he was twenty-four. The fact that a group of religious nutcases think he is the Antichrist because they saw him survive through his head being chopped off is absurd! It's meant to point out that, when faced with something people don't understand, they will jump to whatever conclusions happen to fit in their little construct of the world. These cultists (sure, in the basest sense, they're Catholic but they're also INSANE, keep that in mind) saw something they didn't understand because they don't know about immortality, and they attributed Peter with a role he does not fit into.

The Templar are akin to those nutcases who try to force their beliefs on others and say things like "GOD TALKED TO ME THROUGH MY TICKLE ME ELMO! HE SAID AHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHEHEHEHHHOHOHOOHOHAHHAHHHEHEHEHHHOHOHOOO" and you back away slowly. Except the Templar happen to be armed with lovely inquisitorial tactics to get across their beliefs. It's hard to say "no, you're insane" when you're hanging from a rack. That's why the Catholics (for one) used to DO IT. The idea of Peter being the Antichrist is supposed to feel like a false note, because it is. Peter is the victim of a group of religious fanatics. Not religion, not Catholicism. Fanaticism. The people I believe to be the most dangerous in our world, and they can be any religion, creed, order...anything. I just happen to write mine as an offshoot of insane Catholics because Peter was a priest before he left the clergy. IT IS IN NO WAY AT ATTACK ON THE CATHOLIC CHURCH OR RELIGION ITSELF.

Might I also add it's urban fantasy. There are supposed to be fantastical things in there. Demons, vampires, werewolves, whatever. The Antichrist, however, does not happen to be included. Like in Buffy, these beings are metaphors and symbols for something else. Peter would like to state for the record, that he's just a man who is suffering for other people's beliefs. Something that happens far too often. My writing (at least the Templar story arcs) are symbolic of that on purpose. And the only way I can express my displeasure about that, is with my fiction. So if you don't get it, don't read it.

Seriously though, if I ever were to publish this stuff and the Pope banned it, I'd be one happy chippy. :D "BAN ME, YOUR POPEYNESS! For I wish to be a best seller KTHXBAI!"

EDIT: If you want to read what I'm ranting about, the link is here http://community.livejournal.com/darker_london/tag/the+templar though you have to remember the most recent stuff is at the top, AND not all of it is public. In fact, 90% of it is not.

AND HAHAHHAHAH Check it. Peter's tag is HUGE. And it has all the tags under it I still haven't converted over. Which means he'll be at over 1,000. ARRggghhhhh! Whyyyyyyy. But yes, see what I mean by most of it being locked?