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17 August 2005 @ 03:34 pm
My Babb_Chronicles Fix!  
The lovely babb_chronicles has gone on hiatus until September...I miss my badfic. SO, without further ado...some quotes from Harry Potter Badfic. (If you like it, Join the community, it's hilarious!)




** Link

“Gggirlfriend? Surely you don’t mean ”,“Yes professor, Hermione Granger is my girlfriend”BLAG! And with that, Professor Snape fainted on the floorBLAG! Followed by Neville Longbottom“Well…”, said Draco. “I reckon they took it well”

** Link

Harry sat on his bead at the Dursley's. He'd just gotten back after his fifth year at Hogwarts. After hearing the Order's threats the Dursleys had changed their tune REAL fast. First thing they did was take Haim shopping for new clothes. Harry still being depressed got some rather.....extreme clothing. Mainly all black, supple leather with alot of white fur trim (think alot of clothes like what Squall wears on Final Fantasy 8) and plenty of belts to loop about his waist. all the clothing was baggy because Harry planned on putting alot of muscle onto his boney frame.
*
A voice started to echo throughout Harry's mind, and he realized that all the creatures were talking at once.
*
"Well no shit, where do you think we are? plus you may have my wand but I'm not powerless...'Firaga!'" the spell was aimed at Dumbledore's desk, whick being made of old wood burnt quite nicely. "Now, give me my gunblade back." Dumbledore hastily handed it over. "Know this, from now on I want nothing to do with you outside of you being my headmaster, all other ties are severed. By Sirius' will I own black house, I want the Order out of it and away from anything I own. One last thing, keep Malfoy and Snape out of my way, I will not hesitate to blast them one." with that Harry stormed out of the office and headed out to the forest, he needed to practice and what better to do that on then the darker creatures of the forest?
*
Harry spent most of the summer avoiding the professors. He spent most of his time in the CHamber of Secrets, changing it into some living quarters as well as a training area. He named it the Chamber of the Aeons. He fixed all the leaks and redocorated the place. Where the statue of Slytherin once stood was a statue that every time you looked at it it dipicited a differentaeon. All of the snake torch holders were replaced by miniture aeon statues like the main statue but each had a different weapon hanging off it.

** Link

what if being the female best friend of harry potter, Being the resident Knowitall, Battleing deatheaters and voldimort, surviving school, and passing your N.E.W.T.s. and being headGirl in her 7th year wasn't enough!hgss
*
“Hermione let’s go, I don’t want to be here it’s all scary and stuff and spiders are hidden here!” Ron spoke through jittering teeth from the cold I supposed and from the memories of his encounter with Aragon the big spider in second year.
*
They never liked they idea of me being the chosen one. One girl in the world, with the power to defend the light, and defeat the evil beings in the dead of night. I am still a witch the same one with the high grades and prized student to walk the halls of hogwarts but I’m also the slayer, Hermione the vampire slayer as my watcher and headmaster and deputy headmistress loved to say.
*
“Gee why don’t you try making the world a good place yourself it’s not that simple!” Hermione protested in her mind.

** Link

HarryPotterAngle Crossover.Harry Potter was sent to Azkaban, innocent, when he mysteriously disappears and windes up in LA with our fave vampire.But he doesnt arrive there alone.Another man was pulled along for the ride as well.Some Romance in there too.
*
They shared a quick kiss and then Spike frowned, “You look spent love. When was the last time you slept?” “Seems like just yesterday.” Angle sighed as he wrapped his arms around his lovers waist and pulled him in for a hug. Spike wrapped his arms up around Angle’s neck, a deep, concerned frown on his face. Why was his mate so depressed?
*
A/N Ri-hight...sorry about all the spelling mistakes. I thought I got all of them. blushes its definitely the French Emerson shinning through.

** Link (at least this one is bad on purpose ;))

What happens when a tape that kills you in 7 days gets into Hogwarts! The first chapter's not that funny SO READ THEM ALL! Rated for Sex related themes, language, and improper use of the word wand. CH 7 UP! REVIEW! AND READ!
*
Done! Hermione laid the quill down satisfied with her now finished summer homework, she always liked summer homework, Snape would always give her "EXTRA" if she'd polish his wand (if you know what I mean).She looked at the clock (10:02pm), she was making great time because she was useing the time turner to finish all her homework at once. The phone rang, making her jump.
*
Hermione stopped and pulled out a 12 gauge shotgun. “Eat this, BITCH!” ‘Click’ Hermione looked at the gun realizing it wasn't loaded, “AH!”
*
A crackling voice appeared from the door and a lady crawled in from the hallway (Lady from The Grudge). She stopped making the noise and looked around. “Oh I am terribly sorry, wrong movie. Here I think this will make up for it,” She gets up, making her bones pop, and reaches for her wallet. “Here,” she pulls out two 20's, “don’t tell anyone.” She gives them the money then slowly creeps out.
*
“Oh I seemed to have dropped some eggs in my shirt, Harry can you reach down and get ‘em.” “Uh...” Harry started. “With your mouth,” Ginny finished. “Ginny! Not at the table, you can play foreplay with Harry later!” Molly yelled. Harry looked at her funny.
*



I'll do more tomorrow (I found loads) but I have to go now ;)

:X

~Lara~
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Current Mood: amusedamused
 
 
 
Arklanarklan on August 17th, 2005 06:15 am (UTC)
...HP and FF ...my god... i need to start hunting these people down and doing the world a SERIOUS favor. i mean, holy fucking hell. i thought i had seen badfic before... but thats just fucking insane.
Künstliches Mädchen | ☘Lara Kelley Gallagher☘: Hermioneartemisofluna on August 17th, 2005 10:37 pm (UTC)
I KNOW!!! I was like "Oh no you did NOT!"

I have an even better crossover for the one I am doing late today hee hee heeeeeee
bandit queenchimbleysweep on August 17th, 2005 08:19 am (UTC)
OMG THANK YOU FOR THIS. I almost wept when babb_chronicles went on haitus.
Künstliches Mädchen | ☘Lara Kelley Gallagher☘: British Profanitiesartemisofluna on August 17th, 2005 10:36 pm (UTC)
Me too!! :( Glad I could be of service. Maybe I should make it public and post the link at babb chronicles so all the deprived can enjoy ;) Mine are nowhere near as funny and I only look one place lol but it's better than NO badfic!!
fantomeq on August 21st, 2005 05:27 pm (UTC)
Hurray! The part about redecorating the Chamber is priceless. What does an aeon look like?! :D